Developing Leadership Skills in a Time of Uncertainty

Who do you become in the face of uncertainty? One of the inadvertent gifts of the coronavirus pandemic is an opportunity to examine our character.

Who do you become in the face of uncertainty?

Effective leaders deal with what is. They face the facts, assess the situation, and work with what they can do something about.

You’re already being given clues to pathways for working through this, whether you’re aware of it or not. Pay attention to the circumstances that trigger fear or anxiety. Where and when does this show up for you? How do you currently respond?

The question to ask ourselves is who do I want to become in the face of uncertainty? To factors that are outside my control? How would you like to be responding?

At least part of moving through this moment is discovering what we DO have control over. What’s within your reach right at this moment?

- How often do I watch the news?

- How frequently am I making coronavirus the center of my conversations?

- On a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high), how would I rate my tendency to “awful-ize”?

- How much and how often do I focus on the needs of others?

- What are the possible opportunities during this time? And how do I situate myself to recognize them?

- How can I use this time to clarify and recalibrate my personal values system?

This doesn’t have to the be the worst time ever. In fact, there are glimmers of hope and resilience in this, and every situation. If we still our minds and spirits, we open ourselves to discovering what they are.

Here are some healthy actions you can take that you have complete control over:

- Walks in nature

- Yard clean up

- Meal planning and cooking

- Overdue household maintenance

- Doing something creative, every day

- Schedule on-line courses and tutorials

- Expand your entertainment choices: e.g., pick a genre of movies to cycle through

And if you need someone to explore how you can optimize your choices, contact me. I’m offering a reduced fee for personal one-to-one coaching to help you through this.

Contact Lori: lori@cultivatethekarass.org.

CtK Alum Evan McMullin on Twitter: 35 Critical Actions We Must Take In Defense of Our Democracy

This is a list of 35 critical actions that we must take, and encourage others to take, in the defense of our democracy:

1. Vote in every election.

2. Donate to honorable candidates, parties and civic organizations.

3. Call and write to our representatives in Congress.

4. Meet with our local, state and federal elected leaders in person.

5. Read multiple, credible news and opinion sources daily.

6. Subscribe to varied, credible news sources.

7. Write op-eds and letters to the editor about issues of concern.

8. Join, support and actively participate in pro-democracy organizations.

9. Attend town halls with elected officials and ask questions.

10. Volunteer for honorable candidates and other political campaigns.

11. Pursue public office.

12. Perform random acts of kindness for complete strangers.

13. Make eye contact and smile at complete strangers.

14. Demand government action to ensure election security.

15. Spread truth and facts on social media and elsewhere.

16. Expose and counter divisive rhetoric and disinformation on social media and elsewhere.

17. Continually choose hope over cynicism and defeat.

18. Study the U.S. Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, and The Federalist Papers.

19. Help advance political reforms that protect and strengthen our democracy.

20. Study the lives, speeches and writings of great Americans.

21. Embrace and advocate for the inherent equality and liberty of all human beings.

22. Study books and news about authoritarianism and other threats to liberty.

23. Expose and counter anti-freedom and anti-equality leaders and organizations.

24. Oppose leaders who scapegoat entire groups or classes of Americans or immigrants.

25. Help new immigrants integrate into local communities.

26. Contribute to the honorable challengers of elected officials undermining the House impeachment inquiry.

27. Read and listen to the opinions of people of good faith who disagree with you.

28. Allow your beliefs about people with whom you disagree to be challenged.

29. Study the facts of major policy challenges facing the country.

30. Demand evidence-based policymaking from elected leaders.

31. Participate in organized service projects in your community.

32. Stay informed of news related to freedom and democracy abroad.

33. Recognize and accept everyone’s opportunity for redemption.

34. Seek and share light, goodness and beauty wherever found in nature and humanity.

35. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Thank you, Evan!

CtK Interview Series: When a ‘Bernie bro’ meets a Republican lesbian

Interviewed by Lilly Constance: I spoke with Keegan Goudiss and Sarah Longwell, who participated in CtK.Campfire’s second cohort.

Lilly: What were your first impressions when you met at the retreat lodge? 

Keegan: When Sarah showed up, I was a little tipsy and I launched right into my Bernie spiel. She asked for five dollars and taught me an important lesson about government handouts.

Sarah: You’re being sarcastic right now!

Keegan: It was funny because I didn’t know who you were at all when we had that conversation, and then I looked at the bio booklet and thought “Oh, her firm has worked against a number of my clients and we actually have been pitted against each other on a number of cases.” I felt like we saw eye-to-eye in our first conversation on a couple points, and despite disagreeing on some things, I knew she was a good person and that I genuinely enjoyed having a conversation with her. Maybe if I had known who you were going in, I would have been a little more reserved or mad about the work your firm had done.

Sarah: We had a great opening conversation, but I will tell you that if there’s one group of people that I’m still holding a grudge against after the election, it’s the “Bernie Bros.” Meeting Keegan was funny because I’ve got a lot of bones to pick with the Bernie crowd. I had a stereotype in my head about the kind of person who would go “all in” for Bernie Sanders. Keegan actually still fits that stereotype, I just happened to like him more than I thought I might. I think we had a lot of fun during that conversation, and it definitely set the tone for me for the weekend. I thought, “if everybody here is like this guy, this is going to be great.”

Lilly: So how do you think you will continue to be “loyal antagonists” outside of CtK.Campfire?

Keegan: In the future there may be things I’d run past Sarah to get her perspective. I have friends who are Republicans, but I’m usually in a bubble of people who agree with my beliefs. I know Sarah definitely doesn’t think that expanding single payer health care is a good idea, but talking to her in the future about it will open my mind. It’s beneficial to have that input both professionally and personally.

Sarah: Keegan made the good point that when he looked me up, he realized that we work on the opposite sides of issues. When you’re in Washington, you attack the other side. You’re looking for vulnerabilities, and so there’s not a lot of trust there. One of the benefits of having a friendship with Keegan, especially striking it up in the context of something like Campfire where trust is really important, is that I feel like I can talk to him professionally about some of these issues and know that it wouldn’t be used against me. Anybody looking at us would see that we’re very much on opposite sides, but I feel like we can back-channel with trust, which is unusual in Washington.  

Lilly: What surprised you the most about the Campfire experience?

Keegan: What surprised me were the components that actually made me challenge how I think about things professionally. I was expecting to meet some really fantastic people who had different perspectives, but I didn’t expect there to be elements like the leadership exercises that asked me to think about how I communicate and how I challenge other people.

Sarah: For me, it was how not focused on policy it was, and how much effort was put into creating personal relationships. I thought we were going to do a lot more talking about policies, but it was really trying to make us know each other as people and friends. I’ve always thought that sitting in a circle and talking about your lives must be something that people on the Left do. They don’t do a whole lot of that on the Right, and so I think part of me was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

Keegan: So have you gotten your office to sit in a circle yet?

Sarah: No. NO!

CtK Interview Series: An anarchist and a Baptist attorney walk into a bar...

Interviewed by Lilly Constance: “I spoke with Cameron Smith and Willow Brugh, who participated in CtK.Campfire’s second cohort.”

Lilly: Could you tell me about a conversation that you had with each other at the retreat that changed your perspective?

 Willow: Cameron and I were part of a discussion about the scenario “What if things go wrong” with our democracy. I said that I thought things already have gone wrong for a lot of people. It was then that I learned that Cameron believed being conservative means putting power into the hands of local people. That’s exactly the sort of work I do every day, and it’s a big part of what I have dedicated my life to, so I was thrilled to find such an unexpected ally.

Cameron: Just by taking the time to listen to one another, an anarchist and a [former Sen. Jeff] Sessions attorney were able to agree that concentrating power is dangerous and that it’s a better idea to disperse power through government structures. We even discussed specific policies where we thought there could be common ground.

Lilly: What were your main concerns before attending?

Willow: I was concerned about whether it would be a productive use of time, since I was flying across the country and driving three hours from the airport to get somewhere that I wouldn’t be able to leave for several days.

Cameron: I’m not accustomed to people talking about personal feelings in a professional setting. The idea of “checking in” or “checking out” or slowing down and just talking is not as common in my world. It caught me a little off guard: I slammed into the slowness of the moment and thought, “wait a minute, we’re actually getting to know each other.”

Lilly: Was there anything that surprised you about this experience?

Willow: We agreed on more things than I would have expected. For instance, Cameron and I were able to agree that, although we want people to have access to health care, the specifics of how people might make choices for themselves which impact others in that system gets complex.

Lilly: Cameron what’s your response?

Cameron: The difference in our “language set” was shocking to me. We don’t even speak the same words: at one point Willow was talking about devolving power away from the federal government, which in my political circles had been central to every agenda for years, and then it just shocked me to realize how we live on the same planet, but our circles and language sets and policy ideas are just so different that we might well never encounter one another other than in a forced setting like Campfire.

 Lilly: What did you think worked best about the setting and the format?

Cameron: Being disconnected from technology, actually having to be present, was incredibly valuable. There will always be work to be done, but I wouldn’t have been as present if I had tried to divide my time between work and the retreat. It was a good reminder that I occasionally need to turn off technology with my family and even my coworkers.

Willow: I appreciated how much unstructured time we had. Since I’m a facilitator, I think a lot about how much structured time versus unstructured time is good for people, and I tend to err on the side of having too much structured time. Being able to sit next to someone new at dinner and wander around and voluntarily enter into new conversations allowed me to have a better insight into the people there than I would have had if we had only done structured activity.

Lilly: How will you be loyal antagonists to each other going forward?

Willow: Recently I’ve been deeply immersed in crisis response for Harvey and for Irma, and once I have more concise data I’m hoping to send it to Cameron and maybe some other folks from Campfire and ask, “How does this fit with your understanding of the political world? Does it resonate or is it at odds and how can I improve it?

Cameron: I’ll probably to check in when I need help understanding another perspective on an issue. Before I become entrenched in a position, I can now reach out to people who aren’t going to see it as I will. It’s refreshing when you can disagree with someone and not get attacked for disagreeing.

The (Seeming) Impossibility of Suspending Judgment

Suspension of judgment is hard. In fact, it’s impossible – at least for any length of time.  

Nonetheless, effective global leaders have developed a capacity to deliberately choose how they’ll respond to a multitude of different people and situations. They are able to pause, just long enough, sometimes just a few seconds, to become highly aware of their internal reactions before they respond. In so doing, they make their responses a conscious choice.

Suspension of judgment means you deeply listen to people in order to see the world from their perspective. It requires becoming conscious of your own interpretations long enough that you can fully understand an alternative point of view.  

It’s simple conceptually. Why is it so hard to do?

Our judgments happen in an instant. There’s no stopping our filtering system from kicking in to interpret our experiences. It occurs instantaneously and unconsciously. There are many ways this impulse serves us: it allows us to simplify our surroundings so we can function fluidly day-to-day. Stopping to think about every single choice-point throughout the day would burn out our brain’s circuitry in short order.

This impulse towards instantaneous, habitual thought patterns and judgments also gets in our way, particularly when it comes to forming relationships in contexts significantly different from our own. Understanding the nature of our filters is a critical step towards learning to suspend our judgment.

Our way of making sense of the world has been shaped in multiple ways – through both chosen experiences (like where we went to university, our profession, our partners, etc.), as well as unchosen experiences (like our cultural heritage, our family of origin, our age, our nascent intelligence, etc.).

Through no intent on your part, you’ve developed an interpretive stance that helps you make meaning of everything around you. In other words, you judge. You cannot not judge. And unless you’re an enlightened Zen master, there’s little chance you can kick the habit of instantaneously judging everyday events.

What you can do, however, is become aware that you’re making instantaneous judgments. Once you’re conscious of it, you can create a sliver of space – even a few seconds – between your instantly-formed thought and urge toward immediate reaction, and determining a conscious, deliberate way to respond.

In other words, you can develop the capacity to suspend your judgment long enough to choose your response. Or even non-response – a perfectly legitimate option.

How can you do that?

Find ways to create a pause for yourself. Become familiar with your triggers – those circumstances that increase the chance you’ll have an instant reaction. For some people, several deep breaths create the needed space. For others, graciously excusing themselves physically long enough to shift their energy is helpful. The old adages of “counting to ten” before speaking and “sleeping on it” still apply.

 And as you can imagine, listening skills are at the core of this attribute. We see this recommendation so often it begins to lose impact. Yet learning to listen, with our head, heart, and full presence, is exactly what’s needed. It’s incredibly difficult. Like spiritual disciplines from many traditions, few will ever master it. But we all need to make the attempt. There are training courses to take, coaches ready to assist, and colleagues waiting to provide feedback and support. There are no excuses for not improving your listening skills, a critical step towards understanding another’s point of view.

In a global context, the payoff for suspension of judgment is huge. With it, you create the basis for trust and authentic relationships with colleagues of all backgrounds. And authentic relationships lead to stronger interpersonal connections, broader understanding of cross-cultural context, greater access to critical information, opportunities for genuine collaboration, and the chance to solve bigger challenges – together.

-Lori Brewer Collins

Retreat Recap!

Thanks to this weekend’s retreat participants who ensured that we continue to cultivate the karass!

Thank you to Katie Harbath for hosting Friday's Happy Hour and bringing us all together to kick off the weekend! Thanks to our co-facilitators Jeff Casimir and Ellen Mary Hickman for leading this weekend's retreat! If you weren’t able to make it, we missed you! Here are a few images—plus a link to the readings.

Meet Our Facilitators

We’re thrilled to announce that Katie Harbath, CtK.Campfire Fellow Cohort I, and Jeff Casimir, Karasser, are co-facilitating the 3rd Annual CtK.Jake’s Retreat! The Retreat will be held at The Loft in Washington D.C. October 5-6. A few spaces are still available, register today!

Now, meet our facilitators!

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Katie Harbath

Katie Harbath is the Public Policy Director for Global Elections at Facebook where she’s led Facebook's efforts in elections around the world since 2014. Prior to Facebook, Katie was the Chief Digital Strategist at the National Republican Senatorial Committee. She previously led digital strategy in positions at DCI Group and the Republican National Committee. Katie is a board member of the Atlantic Council, was named one of the top 50 people to watch in politics by Politico in 2014 and a Rising Star by Campaigns and Elections magazine in 2009.

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Jeff Casimir

Jeff is an expert facilitator and teacher with deep experience in social justice, education, technology, and entrepreneurship. His career started with Teach for America, teaching and helping run DC Public Schools and DC Charter schools for seven years. In 2009 he moved into accelerated adult education, establishing one of the first software "bootcamps" with LivingSocial in DC. Now in Denver, he serves as the Executive Director of the Turing School of Software & Design where they enable students to find personal freedom through high-impact careers.

CtK Jake's Retreat!

“October 5 & 6, 2019
9:00am to 5:00pm
The Loft in D.C.
$450/pp

Newcomers are welcome!”

CtK Jake's Retreat promises to move us beyond our tempting labels of right and wrong. We’ll build new techniques for meaningful dialogue, refine our understandings of negotiation, define what cannot be compromised, examine the intersectional nature of our identities, and explore the fierce urgency of Now.

Katie Harbath and Jeff Casimir will co-facilitate, along with a session from Lori Brewer Collins. This is a leadership weekend with a focus on connected, large system impact. Go beyond the confines of individual leadership. The learning opportunities of the weekend link what we've learned through the Campfires and retreats and our vertical development work.

And Lori will offer up a "State of Cultivate the Karass" and where we're headed and the possibilities we're exploring...

Share your ideas, expertise and experience. Renew relationships and create new ones. Think big, be bold, and reconnect with what it feels like to lead from your soul. 

Exciting things are happening! We're waiting for you in DC. Sign up now.

Keep an eye out in this space and in your inbox for more information!